Bones, sinking like stones – all that we fought for.
Homes, places we’ve grown – all of us are done for. // don’t panic
It’s been a stressful week. I’m exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Some of my classes haven’t necessarily been going the way I need them to. (I have to keep up a certain GPA in order to keep the majority of my scholarships. So, I have to get mostly a’s this semester. If I fail to do so, I most likely will not be able to return.) Most of my extracurriculars seem to have a lot of events these next few weeks, and I have work on top of all of that. Life has been going full 100 and hasn’t slowed down much at all. And I don’t think it’ll slown down for a while. So, I’ve been stressed out of my mind and the gloomy weather hasn’t done much to brighten my spirits.
It’s been a difficult few days to say the least. I find that I push the stress and emotions I’ve been feeling deep down, ignoring them because I don’t have time to deal with them. Lately it’s felt like they’re all beginning to build up inside my chest and I feel like exploding or just sleeping for a whole day. It hasn’t felt good. I’ve been irritable, annoyed, mopey, and emotional. But I’m not really great at dealing with that. I take pride in my sunny, positive disposition. And I’ve felt quite not myself as of late.
Trying hard to speak and fighting with my weak hand.
Driven to distraction, so part of the plan.
When something is broken and you try to fix it,
trying to repair it any way you can. // x & y
In photography class, one of the recent assignments was to capture various sunsets. Our Professor gave us a little over two weeks so that we would have the opportunity to capture a few different sunsets. So I decided to take my camera out and see if the sunset was worth capturing for my assignment. I walked out of my dorm into a field right beside it, and sat in front of a stunning sunset. I put my headphones in and put Coldplay’s entire discography on shuffle. And I sat there, with my camera in hand, the sky in front of me, and all my worries behind me.
just open your eyes // politik
After I got all of the shots I needed for my project, I just sat there. I breathed in the crisp autumn air and watched the sky change before my eyes. All of the tension inside seemed to dissolve as I watched the sun set below the trees. In that moment, i almost felt as if I could spread my arms out and the sky would take me in. For a few minutes I felt understood, as if the open sky knew everything that I’ve been going through…as weird as that sounds.
Ride into the sunset, fly into the sunset.
And we’re taken home, into the fire. // all your friends
Maybe it was the solitude and the fresh air. Maybe it was the beauty of creation before my eyes. Maybe it was the few moments of silence in a stress-free environment. Maybe it was a little gift from God, to remind me that even in the worst of my days and the lowest times, He is still for me and watching over me. Even on a gray day like today, He painted a brushed brilliant colors across the horizon to remind us of His majesty and creativity.
Behind the walls, love, I’m trying to change.
And I’ ready for it all, love.
I’m ready for the change.
Meet me in blue sky, meet me again…
You’ve got to find yourself alone in this world,
you’ve got to find yourself alone. // Oceans